Learning to know joy
Letting go of the illusion of control: embracing the vulnerability of mortality
Most of us are living as if we are immortal, often whilst chasing down other people’s dreams. All the while knowing, deep down, that life is fragile and can be cut short any time. When we are at risk of losing someone close to us, we feel the reality of this and experience the lack of control that we have. Surrendering to this lack of control can be the start of an emotional journey and help us realize that we have to change the way we live.
A bittersweet mix of feelings arises.
Love, loss, powerlessness, desperation, uncertainty, and a bleaker outlook on the future.A reawakening of old pent-up emotions.
A newfound passion.
Unbearable intensity.
Unprecedented release.Gratefulness. Presence. Love.
Catharsis. Realignment.
Deepening wisdom.
Connection.
Heart.Seeing the value and beauty of all people.
Feeling connected to it all.
Trusting others more.Feeling joyful for every second I am together with you
As soon as the risk is gone, the emotions may become unavailable to us. How can we rekindle this fire without being in situations that trigger a fear of loss or death?
Memento Mori — Remember Death
Vulnerability is a keyword. When you are feeling joy, your guard is down. You are at a high emotional state. It’s a long way down and you know the fall is inevitable. In order to stay joyful, you need to somehow embrace this lack of control.
You know that death is coming eventually. And it’s represented along the way with small and big scares and events that are experienced as negative, unwanted, disappointing and sad. These are all just reminders. For most of us they are reminders that we are not living life true to ourselves and that we need to make a change.
We need to lose our illusions, starting with the illusion of control. So think about death. Your own and that of your loved ones. Remember that nothing can be taken for granted. Not a single day. Living means moving towards death. We usually don’t know how close we are until we are almost there. You have no control.
Every moment together is fleeting and fragile. When we become vulnerable to this fact, we can learn to know joy and begin truly living. Bringing children into this world can be a powerful catalyst for becoming more vulnerable.
A bonus effect of the high levels of joy and vulnerability that come with this increased awareness of death, is a strong motivation to do what is personally meaningful. You never know when it’s going to end. Are you ready to die or do you have something you need to do first? Or maybe someone you need to be?
Death is also associated with spiritual enlightenment. The final letting go at the moment just before awakening is often likened to accepting death in the present moment. But that, is a story for another day.
